


Happy now

by Agape (kitsuneart)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: F/M, It works either way, M/M, Mild Angst, you can read it both platonic or romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:01:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29533770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitsuneart/pseuds/Agape
Summary: “Jay…” Isabella reached for his hand again, and this time he held her tight. “I know you have a big heart,” she lowered her eyes on their interlaced fingers. “But you need to understand that the level of commitment you’re asking of him it’s not one of a friend..”
Relationships: Jean-Jacques Leroy/Isabella Yang, Otabek Altin/Jean-Jacques Leroy
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10





	Happy now

It was their favourite place to meet. Wednesdays, when JJ finished practice, Isabella was always waiting for him in that hipster-ish cafeteria on the corner; wooden tables, plants all around and hanging from the ceiling, dim lights and the smell of good coffee. It was a homely place, cozy and intimate like the embrace she gave him when he reached her table, laptop open and an almost finished glass of orange juice on the side.

Usually Jean Jacques was in a great mood after practice, but today he seemed a bit off. He sighed heavily, tightening his grip for a few seconds, breathing in her sweet scent with his eyes closed, before letting go and leaning in for a tender kiss.

He had styled his hair perfectly and most surely had applied a thin veil of cream on his face after the shower, making an effort to look at his best for her, but Isabella could feel he was deadly tired. More than usual, like if he had pushed himself to the limit on the ice, once again.

“How was practice?” she put in, closing her laptop and moving it aside.

“Hm? Good, good.” he replied absentmindedly, slipping off his jacket.

“Did you over do it?”

_Busted._

JJ flashed her his trademark smile “It’s JJ Style baby, there’s not such thing as overdoing.”

He didn’t mention how many times Nathalie had shouted at him, complaining he was not focused. He didn’t mention how many times he had missed his jumps. “How was your day?”

They ordered a darjeeling tea and a fruit smoothie, melting their voices in the loud chatter of the busy café, talking about the little things of a normal Wednesday, but Bella could still sense that something was not right. Even if JJ was trying his best to act cool and unaffected, she couldn’t be fooled. Something was on his mind, and she had a pretty good idea of what that was, or better, _who_.

After checking his phone for the umpteenth time between one sentence and another, JJ placed it rather harshly on the table, screen facing the wood.

“Sorry.” he sighed with a crooked smile, finally trying to give her his full attention.

Isabella smiled back, reaching for his hand and holding it. 

“Still no answer?”

Jean Jacques raised his eyebrows in a mute surprise, like a child caught red handed. Then he lowered his eyes.

_Merde._

“Yeah.” he breathed out. “But you know what? I don't care. I’m fucking done with him.”

Isabella tilted her head on the side, a cherry red smirk on her lips. He slipped his hand away from her grasp, knowing really well she was not buying his cocky words.

“Have you considered the time difference? Perhaps he’s still training, or he’s sleeping…”

“He fucking read the texts Bella. He read all of them okay?” his voice was cracking a bit and he felt so pathetic, a feeble pain spreading in his stomach while he unlocked his phone and showed her the proof. “See?”

Isabella looked at the screen, frowning. She knew very well how JJ hated to be ignored. How he always felt personally attacked when someone dared not to pay attention to the King. How something so little was able to kickstart him into a spiral of bad thoughts and frustration.

“I asked him how’s doing. I sent him memes on Instagram and Twitter. I mean, I know he doesn’t care about social media but what about texts? He was always replying to his Kazakh friends, but apparently it’s too hard to reply to JJ, eh?”

He knew he sounded so childish, whining like a baby who has been denied his favourite toy. He knew perfectly well he was overreacting. He was projecting. He was just creating a drama over those fucking read/seen notifications, because someone somewhere decided it was a fucking great idea to introduce a perfectly crafted anxiety trigger on every social network.

_But if I don’t receive an answer, then it means I’m annoying you, right? You’re probably thinking I’m such a loser, pestering you with questions and silly things, waiting for your reaction._

“He just left Canada one week ago.” Isabella took a sip of her tea “Give him time, he’s probably really busy right now…”

_Yeah, you moved on, maybe I should do the same and forget about you like you clearly did about me?_

JJ shook his head and took a deep breath “If you care you find the time. If you _really_ care…” his voice sounded so bitter. So wounded. JJ felt tears pricking his eyes.

_No, osti de tabarnak, I’m not fucking crying now._

“LISTEN I’m not asking much you know? I don’t pretend to expect a call every day, long texts, him writing me first..nope, I just..” he trailed off. God, he hated himself so much right now. His voice was little more than a whisper. “I just thought we were..friends?”

_Wow, I’m so fucking pathetic._

“He’s still your friend, Jean.”

“Ha.”

_Jean, he really liked to call me Jean…_

“And he never struck me as the chatty type.” Isabella carried on, trying to make him look at all this big drama from a more objective angle.

“I was always there for him Bella. Always available. I always found time for him..” he knew she was right, he knew he was being petty. He knew he was too needy. He fucking knew it. Yet still..

“I…I shared my secrets with him…” JJ blushed a bit, quickly adding “I helped him with the quadruple Salchow…I gave him all the King tricks.” wide grey eyes, staring at her like a lost puppy. “This has to count for something?”

He hated to feel so vulnerable, so defeated, but he knew she was the only person with whom he could wear his heart on his sleeve.

“Jay…” Isabella reached for his hand again, and this time he held her tight. “I know you have a big heart,” she lowered her eyes on their interlaced fingers. “But you need to understand that the level of commitment you’re asking of him it’s not one of a friend..” he tried to retort but she didn’t let him “the kind of friendship you’re seeking…I don’t want to say it’s impossible to find, but you have to be realistic,” she looked at him square “all the stories we grew up with, great unbreakable friendships, mates having your back and caring deeply for you…in the end…they’re just stories.” she sighed. “We both know the real world is quite different.”

“I know Bella, I KNOW.” his voice was still shaking “but…” he tightened his grasp on her hand, clenching his teeth.

“JJ, that’s the kind of attention you can only hope to receive from a lover, not from a friend.” 

Blunt. She didn’t like to be so harsh on him, but sometimes he was too naive and she hated to see him so tormented, yet she wanted to make sure he understood her point.

He bit his lower lip, inhaling sharply and moving his gaze outside the window in a vain attempt to brush away his reddened cheeks. But he didn’t let go of her hand. 

A boisterous laugh bursted from a nearby table and for a moment their attention was drawn to a group of friends having the time of their life.

JJ sighed, trying to quiet down his heart beats. 

“It’s just…” he tried, “We used to see each other every day, we shared so much and now…not even the time for a text? Nothing? Like I’ve never existed in his life?” Honestly he needed to stop blabbering about this, but he was a selfish prick, he knew that very well, and he couldn’t shut up for the love of him.

All the little things that wouldn’t mean a thing to someone else. The inside jokes that only the two of them understood. Those stupid things that he instantly wanted to share but now there was no one to share them with, and no sense in sharing them with someone else...

He hated himself for allowing Otabek so much power over his mood. Over him. He didn’t even realise it until now. Until he was not by his side anymore.

“I guess I’m so boring and I’ve been such a burden for him that now he’s more than happy to dismiss me.”

_Wow JJ, such a mature speech._

Isabella let his pained word linger between them for some moments, drawing circles with her thumb on the inside of his palm.

“You know that’s not true.” she simply replied, offering her most caring smile.

He knew. But it was so easy to doubt himself. “I guess I should just stop caring, eh?” Yeah, like if it was an on/off switch that you could turn how you wished in just a click.

“Have you considered asking him directly?” she offered, “If you’re really annoying him I mean?”

He side glanced her. “I can’t do that,” he grunted. “I have my pride.” The last thing he needed was to admit he was wounded by this. That he was wounded by a stupid notification.

Yes, I saw your message.

Yes you’re not worth of a reply.

Nope. No way he would have shown his vulnerable side more than he already had. He had stretched his hand as far as he could in order to reach him. If Otabek was not willing to do his part, then…then so be it.

.

.

.

_You’re a world away_

_Somewhere in the crowd_

_In a foreign place_

_Are you happy now?_

_There’s nothing left to say_

_So I shut my mouth_

_So won’t you tell me, babe_

_Are you happy now?_

_[Are you happy now](https://youtu.be/g-tNJrAgP54) _

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**Author's Note:**

> This is something I wrote a while ago and published only on [tumblr](https://ainitsuite-agape.tumblr.com/post/179933289459/jay-isabella-reached-for-his-hand-again-and) back in the days...but I found myself thinking about this drabble again, so I thought to publish it here as well.
> 
> Title and lyrics in the end are from [Happy Now BY Zedd &Elley Duhé](https://youtu.be/g-tNJrAgP54)
> 
> A big thank to [@realgeorgipopovich-blog](https://realgeorgipopovich-blog.tumblr.com/) for being an amazing beta <3


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